Some years ago, I had an appointment in a government establishment, on getting there I saw others that came for the same purpose I came for. We were all waiting to see the boss and I wasn’t the first on the line, not even the tenth.
After waiting a while, a young lady walked up to me and asked, “What am I here for?” Told her, then she said I should follow her… voilla she took me straight to the man’s office, no other questions asked, or long talk, or more waiting. After the meeting I tried to scan for her to thank her and ask why she did that, but couldn’t find her, then I later connected the dots on my way out seeing the others I met there still waiting.
I learned a significant, unforgettable secret that day and that is what I want to share with you today.
The more attractive you are, the less the rules apply to you. Attractive people are treated better 80% of the time. You can argue all you want, but it is what it is. Yea, I know some people won a genetic lottery from birth by having the right height, skin tone, body structure, chiseled nose etc.
If you didn’t win this genetic lottery, the good news is that you don’t have to be good looking in the face to be considered a good-looking guy. You don’t have control over some of your physical attributes, but you have control over a whole lot that can make you super attractive.
Understand that your body is a business card, and being attractive is like a magnet for attracting higher quality people into your life. Follow me, I’m going somewhere…
Being attractive is not about having a harem of girls on your roll call, women are fun and enrich your life, but they shouldn’t define it. Being attractive is leverage, using what you have to get what you want in all spheres of life.
Everyone is hungry for beauty. To be near it, to consume it, to eat it and become it. The idea is to be the one that brings that beauty to people’s views. The special one. The rare gem. You may say, “but I don’t have plenty of money to buy clothes or a nice car, yada yada yada”.
It’s not about the ostentatious display of luxury items either, it’s a series of lifestyle changes that when engaged properly can make you look and feel like you are the president of America, lol.
THE HANDSOME MAN DEMEANOUR
There’s something called a handsome man’s demeanour and it has nothing to do with facial features or looks.
- Confident/secure ( he’s ok if you don’t like him, he doesn’t live off your approval ).
- Charming ( makes other people feel good when around him ).
- Chill factor ( emotionally intelligent, cool calm, and collected even in situations that require him not to be ).
- Ambitious and driven ( self-motivated and result-oriented ).
All these attributes make you a handsome man and guess what? They don’t cost a dime. Just things you develop and build on daily.
Understand that you attract people by the qualities you display and you keep people by the qualities you possess. The 2 have to go together for you to make being attractive work.
Let’s dive in deeper and see some other attributes that can make you attractive.
1. HAVE A MISSION OR PURPOSE
When we watch a movie, say James Bond 007 series or even other storylines, there’s a feeling of admiration we all feel for the main guy trying to save the world, find love, prevent a disease, etc.
We all love him for his doggedness, his tenacity, nobility, and even feel sorry for him for all the challenges he encounters along the way.
That’s an attractive trait, having something that makes you get out of bed without an alarm, something you can talk about for one hour without prior preparation or PowerPoint slides.
People will be naturally drawn to you and want to associate with you as a result, because you don’t come by men on a mission so easily daily.
2. STOP WHINING
You can make a persuasive case that all your troubles are the fault of others, you will convince some people, you might even convince yourself. The big question is, are your troubles now solved? Nothing repels people more than a man complaining, you never see doers complain, you never see complainers do.
A man by design should be result-oriented and solution-driven. You hear some ladies brag about their man that when their man comes, a solution will be provided. That’s how it should be. You should be the calm in the middle of the storm, the shore when others are lost at sea.
Cool, calm, collected, and courageous even when under fire. Ladies will be drawn to you, men will look up to you, the young will aspire to be you and the old will wish they can relive their younger years like you.
3. SMILE, HAVE FUN AND A SENSE OF HUMOUR
Masculinity is not about being mean and having a strong face like the devil, lol. This is a warped idea of what society wants us to be. That obnoxious and arrogant fella that isn’t easily approachable and hard to relate with.
Smiling defuses any tense situation, nothing is that serious, plus nobody wants to hang out with a guy who can’t laugh at himself or takes himself too seriously. It’s emotionally draining and robotic relating to such a person.
Having a sense of humor can skyrocket your attractiveness, there is so much misery and sadness in our world, being someone that makes someone laugh is such a huge relief for people and they will want to associate with you more as you bring a smile to their face.
This works across the board, ladies, young or old people. Trust me nobody ever complains about having a good laugh.
4. BE A RENAISSANCE MAN
Having many interests and skills will create a mystique around you, if people know everything about you, you become too familiar and familiarity kills attraction. Read books, seek knowledge, learn a skill.
Not to brag, but I know a thing or two about every topic and can converse as if I know so much about it. Some time ago, I was hanging out with a lady I like and her friends, so one of them had a pack of cards and I know a couple of card tricks. I performed a card trick and they were all amazed at how I was able to do it, and I could tell if she hadn’t fallen in love with me before then, that little trick I did made her fall in love with me instantly, as the laughs got louder and the touches got more sensual.
Stand out, know what others don’t know, be a renaissance man.
5. BE A PEOPLE PERSON
When in social gatherings, go out of your way to introduce yourself. This will undoubtedly help you make more friends. It will enhance how others perceive you (friendlier and respectable).
By nature, I’m an introvert, if I know you and see you in a mall and have the chance to not greet you, I’ll take that chance, lol. Conversing was like a herculean task for me, but that was then though. I knew I needed people to further my cause in life and keeping to myself isn’t doing me any good. So, I had to adapt and do what must be done.
Besides, engaging in networking will always benefit your social proof. If you know the bartender at your local restaurant or the manager of a place, or you can connect a person that’s looking for something to someone that has it, it boosts your personality and signifies you’re a stand-up guy that people trust and want to associate with.
Lastly, be sensitive to people, listen more and remember that people won’t remember what you said or what you did as much as they will remember how you made them feel.
6. SHOW VULNERABILITY
It takes a certain level of smart to be the right amount of dumb. Don’t go around acting, you have it all together 100% of the time, even if you do, show vulnerability sometimes.
This helps others to trust you and feel they too can open up about things and you become the guy that allows the group to grow closer.
Pastors, politicians and the likes do this very well. They make you feel the same thing you’re going through. They’ve also gone through or are still going through it and it draws you to them unconsciously.
Being vulnerable makes you more humane and down to earth with the ability to relate with subordinates or people at a lower level to yours and that’s attractive.
7. GET YOUR DRESSING AND GROOMING RIGHT
I intentionally made this the last point because I wanted to show you that being attractive isn’t just about clothes or a great haircut and we’ve done other articles that dwell so much on the importance of this.
To buttress the point, dressing well and taking care of your appearance, naturally make people assume that you are someone who deserves their respect and earning the respect of people is an attractive trait.
It’s hard to feel your best when you don’t look your best. Dress like a boss and you’ll soon start to feel like making boss moves. That’s the angle to this that most people don’t understand. The idea is to be the total package, look like you have your shit together, and then actually have your shit together… that’s how big boys roll.
Then see how you begin to get what you want and people start wanting to be around you like ants around sugar, lol.
Related Articles: How to look your best even if you’re over 40 years
In conclusion, I’m not saying it’s going to be easy or a walk in the park, but if you want people to break their rules for you or do your bidding most times, it’s something worth giving a shot. Know when each of the items I listed is required and sometimes a combination of all is required. This is great power I just handed to you, it has worked for me countless times and I hope it does the same for you.
Thanks for reading. There’s a good chance this would be useful to some of your friends too, do me a little favor by hitting the share buttons.
Also, we have a series on leverage and I know it will be very beneficial to you as well. Sign up to enjoy it.
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