Life they say begins at 40. Not literally, of course, life begins at conception. Ideally, by 40, you have absolute independence, not having your behaviour governed by an auxiliary authority (parents, teachers, campus security, etc.). You’re now your own man, with a stable career or business path as well as income, perhaps married with kids, and all the years of hustling in your 20s and 30s are now paying off.
Midlife crisis they say begins at 40. Statistics say there are three times more likely for men to commit suicide, in their 40s and 50s. As much as you have it all together in your 40s, it could also be the toughest years of your life. There’s family to look after, both your own and your parents (and sometimes in-laws).
There’s now a performance burden with a lot of people now looking unto you for counsel and financial help. Your body starts to remind you that no matter how hard you try to imagine differently, your physical condition has started to downslide; and for many men, it’s a period of disturbing reflection and awareness- that your youthful expectation of how life would’ve been hasn’t exactly panned out.
Whichever end of the line you belong, you reading this implies there’s life. You’ve spent your 30s getting to where you are, this new decade is all about celebrating your success and living your best life anticipating the future.
What better place to start than with your wardrobe? I say this because its hard to feel good when you don’t look good and really if you don’t enjoy yourself now, when will you? This guide is to help you have a better style if you haven’t already, and equip you with ideas on how to stay smart and sharp as you age gracefully.
I know you don’t like to be told what to do. I get that, and I respect you enough to know that you’re an intelligent, well-read, and successful man. So, don’t consider these as mandates or admonishments. Rather, take them as gentle suggestions. Here we go…
RENEW YOUR THINKING
A lot of men believe that style is something young, ‘insecure’ men care about and that once you get older and wiser, you don’t have to care so much about such ‘superficial’ things as your appearance and style. Looking good is for everyone regardless if you’re 21 years old graduating from school or 60 years transitioning out of the workplace.
If you feel awkward about looking sharp or wearing some kind of clothing, it says more about your state of self-consciousness than it does about your age or what people expect of you.
An interest in self-expression through your fashion and style shouldn’t end because you’ve had a certain birthday, but rather the attitude should be that of a celebration of life, recognizing that you being alive is a privilege denied to many in your age group.
AUDIT AND UPGRADE YOUR WARDROBE
The keywords here are simplicity, quality, and finesse. Its time to get rid of some clothing you’ve acquired in your rigorous hustling years. That cheap-looking garment, that tight-fitting pant, that dead-looking shoe, that faded shirt…l et me stop, lol.
Not saying you should get rid of all your clothes (and you could actually if you feel you need a complete overhaul), but you know what doesn’t belong there anymore that befits your current status.
Remember your goal when shopping is not just buying clothes, you are assembling a wardrobe of interchangeable pieces that improve your appearance and style. Quality over quantity. This decade is where you indulge yourself on your looks and compensate for those years you couldn’t afford them. Doesn’t matter if it’s just one of those items you have, so long its quality, it will boost your confidence and status signaling.
GET IN SHAPE
This applies to everyone, especially men over 40. Science indicates that once men turn 30 they begin to lose as much as 3-5% of their muscle mass per decade. The good news is that this can be avoided if you work out and lift weights regularly. One thing I’ve noticed working with men over 40 is a bulging tummy. Many don’t feel good about it and you hear them say “I’m working on it”, only to see them later and it has gone bigger.
Being fit and trim gives you a license to wear whatever you want. Clothes fit better and a bit of muscle tone to your frame can tremendously transform your style and appearance, not to mention you look younger and get a good testosterone burst to do your ‘man things’, plus improved sexual agility. Because most men of your age range don’t do this, you instantly get elevated into the elite category of grown men. The rare gem. The exception. The sexy one.
GROOMING
Except you’re an entertainer, the years of experimenting with your hairstyle are behind you. Hairstyles like mohawk, dreadlocks, and the likes are no longer for you. Sorry if you never got the chance to do them when you were younger.
Decide what hair-cut works best for your hair type and face shape and find a barber who gets it right every time.
For men with a receding hairline, shave your head (PS. a sight of papa ajasco is not sexy by the stretch of any imagination). My suggestion for men who completely shave their hair is to grow a beard and wear a pair of stylish eyeglasses. This will add some dimension to your face and enhance your facial features.
General maintenance to look clean and mean is of utmost importance. Get a pedicure if you have to, trim your nose and ear hair, keep your beard neat, clip your nails, floss regularly, moisturize, etc. Tame the beast just a little bit.
FITTING
This decade is where you pay serious attention to your fitting. The age-appropriate choice is to have your tailor. 80% of your clothing items should be tailored, paying attention to different body parts for the right fit.
The goal is not to be too tight, nor too loose. I’ve heard clients say things like “I don’t want it too tight o, I’m no longer a small boy”, which is true, but it’s not an excuse for you to start looking like jabroni.
A trend in Africa earlier was to make clothes big. The mindset was if the clothing is big on you, then it implies you’re a big man. Well, we’ve left that era bro… the big boys now keep it simple and well-fitted. No better way to join that league of cool looking men than to get your cloth fitting right.
WARDROBE ESSENTIALS
Like I said earlier, you’re not just buying clothes, you’re putting together a wardrobe that contains all your fashion and style needs.
Here is a list of wardrobe staples every 40+ men must have:
TRADITIONAL WEARS
Popularly called senator. It derives its name from the political class of Nigeria as that is what you will see most of them wear apart from agbada. The senator is a boss-tier traditional-formal attire. It’s not tribe-sensitive and can be worn for almost any occasion from owambe to formal settings.
Depending on the occasion, tribe, and circles you run, you could do other forms of native attire on special occasions, but the senator kaftan is what should be the staple in your collection. It says I’m not so advanced in age, though not so young either.
Quality is of the essence here too, as some fabrics give a better fit and sheen when sewn. You don’t want to show up looking cheap or having to replace them in a short time.
CORPORATE/FORMAL WEARS
Depending on the industry or field you work and position you occupy, you’ll require corporate wears for different purposes. Award dinners, office presentations, meeting with clients, and investors. As much as possible, go for tailored suits and dress shirts for the obvious reasons of quality fabrics, customization, and better fit. Double-cuff shirts are mature and show off your stylish quality cufflinks.
For suits, you can experiment with pinstripe fabrics, double-breasted design, and a 3-piece suit. Blazers should also be in your armoury for days you want to have that smart casual-formal look. Those can come in tartan (check) or floral-patterned fabrics and you accessorize accordingly. Note, a navy-blue blazer is to a man what a little black dress is to a woman. It’s a must-have!
CASUALS
This is your downtime and playtime attire and its equally important as your business mode attire. Your 40s isn’t when you want to be wearing ripped jeans or design jeans with funny patterns. It makes you look tacky and trying too hard to look young. Say no to grandpa jeans too, typified by their high rise, loose/baggy cut, and bright almost stoned washed appearance. Simple fitted jeans or chinos in black, blue, ash, and beige (carton color) is always a winner.
For t-shirts and polos, avoid anything that has large prints or write-ups, if at all you want to do brands, ensure the brand logo is just a small detail on the shirt. Go for the right size and if you can’t get that, you can always amend any good one you get to your size. The problem with oversize polo is that if you’re in great shape, people won’t know it and if you’re out of shape you end up looking sloppier. So fit is the keyword.
ACCESSORIES
As you assemble your wardrobe, accessories are one of the ways you add personality to your collection. They can take your look go from 0 to 10 at the snap of a finger. Don’t be afraid to deploy patterns in small bursts with your tie, pocket square, and lapel pins. Other important accessories to pay close attention to at your level are:
A quality Pen: Important as a reminder for when you signed a contract or closed a deal. It’s a good way to show class and sophistication at such events.- Belts: Get good quality leather belts, for formal, casual, and sneakers belt. By all means, avoid belts with funny buckles like lion heads or spinning wheels. Remember, simplicity is our watchword.
Eyewear: When getting sunshades, eyeglasses, or reading glasses. Seize the opportunity to flex your style muscles by getting frames that enhance your face best qualities and compliment your face shape and complexion.
Cufflinks: Your links should have a boss-feel to it, not just a regular one, nothing dramatic, just simple and quality.
Necklace, Ring, and Bracelets: Dating back to hundreds of years in history, pieces of jewellery have been an essential part of men’s fashion and style, as a symbol of wealth and influence. What better time to spice up your status signalling than in your 40s. Make sure it’s the original and let them be in harmony. It doesn’t really look nice wearing a gold chain, silver wristwatch, gold bracelet, etc.
Leather Laptop Bag, Clutch Bag, and Wallet: Please ditch the backpack, leave it for the younger men. Your handbags are not only functional for housing and protecting your laptop or other personal effects, but it can also serve as an extension of your look by complementing your outfit or spicing up boring office wear.
Perfume: A scent is the most intense form of memory. Though invisible, it’s an accessory that adds to your presence and leaves a memory where ever you go long after you’re gone. A sophisticated, masculine perfume is always a killer trust me.- Wristwatch: this is one of the ways to instantly communicate taste, style, and class without saying a word. See wrist watch buying in your 40s as an investment, an heirloom that can be passed down to your son on graduating from school. Remember you’re indulging yourself and you’ve earned it. So, it’s time to have a collection of high-end wristwatches, for different occasions.
The three types of wrist watches every man should have in his collection are:
The dress watch: Characterized by a leather strap, thin and high-quality metal case, as well as minimalist display. This is your ideal watch for corporate suit and tie look.. A point to note, is to match it with other items like belt and shoes. Paying attention to details doesn’t get any better than that.
The sport/smart watch: As you try to stay fit and health your smart watch comes equipped with different functions like checking your heart rate, number of steps taken, etc. usually characterized by a rubber strap and digital display or touch screen. This is your ideal watch for an athletic gear and casual look.
The casual watch: The is the broadest category of men’s wrist watch, some examples are the pilot/aviator watches, diver, racing watches, etc. characterized by a larger case, prominent dials or a chronograph feature and chain strap. This is your ideal watch for traditional wear or other casual looks.
Belts: Get good quality leather belts, for formal, casual, and sneakers belt. By all means, avoid belts with funny buckles like lion heads or spinning wheels. Remember, simplicity is our watchword.
A simple hack though is to buy multiple kinds of straps (leather and chain) and interchange them to give an illusion of plenty. *winks
UPGRADE YOUR SHOE GAME
A mentor once told me that “if you’re to spend heavy on anything in your 40s, make it your shoes and your bed, because if you’re not in one, you’re probably in the other”. No matter how expensive or fancy every other thing you wear is, a bad shoe combination can ruin your entire outfit. Shoes are just clothing for the foot and usually the first thing people notice. It’s equally important you get it right too.
If you’re to spend heavy on anything in your 40s, make it your shoes and your bed, because if you’re not in one, you’re probably in the other.
Anonymous
Here is a list of must-have shoes and wearing options:
A Black oxford: Typified by its lace-up design and it’s the ideal formal shoe, goes for any kind of formal wear and don’t forget to wear an oxford with a sock.
Loafers: Are borderline casual-formal shoes. It’s a slip-on, something to wear for a semi-formal event. E.g blazer, shirt, and chinos as well as traditional wear. Doesn’t require a sock.
Monk straps: Characterized by their single or double buckles. They’re less formal than the oxford but higher in style than loafers. Depending on what you’re wearing it with, you could do sock or not.
Sneakers: These are strictly casual shoes and great for jeans and chinos. A growing trend that I find stylish, is guys wearing it on native. When pulled off properly, it makes sense for 40+ men as it gives you an aura of a younger man. I recommend white sneakers for every age range of men. You never go wrong with white sneakers.
Sandals and slides: These are casual shoes, ideal for traditional 2-piece attires. They give a relaxed, no pressure feel to your look. If you will be doing sandals, get a pedicure or at the very least, clip your toenails.
The topic of shoes cannot be fully exhausted in this guide, but these are just a few you can work with as you assemble a stylish wardrobe.
AGE GRACEFULLY
I conclude by saying congratulations, you’ve hit a milestone and I wish you many more years ahead. Make sure you enjoy yourself this decade because you have just this one body for the rest of your finite life and if you take care of it, it will take care of you.
Your life is ending one second at a time and it’s time you go out and get what you want from it. Cheers to staying stylish.
I hope this guide was helpful, please drop a comment and if you need more help with your style or wardrobe, subscribe to our weekly newsletter or contact our consultancy service.
Olowe Segun
Amire Steve
Tolulope
