Respect means to hold someone in high esteem. It is earned, not given and it flows upwards, not downwards (e.g child to parent). Everybody deserves civility until they’re uncivil, but not everybody deserves respect simply for existing, doubly so when you’re a man because you have to work for and earn it by proving competence and prowess.
Needing respect is an intrinsic characteristic of the masculine soul, you can notice this even in a young boy how he wants to be treated and spoken to. Men wish to be respected in the way women wish to be desired- let me explain.
The worst thing you can do to a man is disrespecting him. The worst thing you can do to a woman is making her feel ugly. A man is a success object, to disrespect him is to say he is useless, incapable, or otherwise insufficient. A woman is a sex object, to make her feel ugly is to say she is useless, incapable, undesirable, or otherwise insufficient. Same psychology, different modes of action.
We live in a social world where every interaction is a performance and people decide in a matter of seconds whether to accord us respect or not. As a man, you can get the admiration of women, the honor of men, and the reverence of even animals by being respected. Here are 10 lifestyle and behavioral upgrades to make people start respecting you like a god!
1. CLEAN UP YOUR APPEARANCE
Obviously, you can’t change your genetic make-up (except through plastic surgery, which makes you look funny and counterintuitively makes people lose respect for you), but you can maximize your current appearance.
There’s a reason you feel good and special after you get a haircut or a manicure. Looking good says “he has self-respect, he takes care of himself” which naturally elicits the respect of others without even demanding it. Some men believe taking care of your weight, skin, and dressing good is shallow, well their ignorance or resistance to this reality doesn’t negate the rule. Results will always speak louder.
2. STOP BEING AVAILABLE ALWAYS
You don’t always need to respond to that text or email or take that call or go for that hangout. In fact, you don’t always have to smile or laugh or get back to people and your real-life can reflect this, not just you trying to act it out.
A sense of scarcity creates a perception of high value. Always being available implies you have little self-respect and are less focused on your own shit, you aren’t in high demand and probably don’t have a mission. People can intuitively sense this and treat you as such accordingly. Hence, create a life that makes you and your time scarce.
3. TALK LESS THAN NECESSARY
“A FISH WITH A CLOSED MOUTH NEVER GET’S CAUGHT”
Basically, you’re ensnared by the words of your mouth. Stop telling people more than they need to know. In talking too much you’ll easily reveal your weakness which can be exploited in the wrong hands. Yes, people will likely complain (especially women) that you don’t talk much, but they’ll respect you for it. You’ll be perceived as mysterious and they’ll keep coming back to want to know more about you. Also, the pitch and pace with which you speak also matter, slow (not slurry) is good and high pitch radiates confidence.
4. BE RELAXED AND WALK SLOWLY
As simple as this sounds, many men lose respect through it. Gods don’t rush anything; they do things at their own pace. A relaxed demeanor and gait mean you got things under control, you’re confident and you give people a chance to revel in your presence. To make this effective you have to do it like you’re not even doing it, you don’t have to be dramatic about it to the point of looking phony. Just be relaxed, don’t forget that “after God, na you”, lol.
5. SET BOUNDARIES AND EXERT THEM
A friend was gisting me why they didn’t invite me for a certain hangout, one of our mutual friends said in his words, “Segun won’t come, so let’s not bother”. It felt good somewhat that they know my boundaries for certain things, which I’d set over the course of our friendship.
They just know I have zero tolerance for some kind of things that doesn’t align with my values. Those who command respect don’t allow unnecessary invasion of their time and energy. They know how to say NO and not feel bad or be apologetic about it. Boundaries keep things in check and people will be inspired rather than offended by them.
6. DON’T BE A MR NICE GUY
The nice guy thinks pleasing everybody, being subservient, saying yes to everything people ask him will make them like and favor him, until the opposite happens and he becomes frustrated and bitter.
Being a nice guy is not a life strategy that will bring anything good for you (unless you prefer to see your soul gradually diminish and people slowly lose respect for you). Be kind, be assertive, be considerate, but don’t be a nice guy.
7. USE YOUR EYES
The eyes they say are the mirror to the soul. Most of the things you need to know about people and what they need to know about you are revealed in the eyes. Maintaining eye contact with people shows you’re present in the interaction and also shows you’re interested in what they have to say. On the flip side, it’s also a show of confidence on your part as fewer people maintain eye contact due to anxiety or shyness.
8. SPREAD OUT A LITTLE WHEN YOU SIT
Check out people of power, you won’t see them sit with their hands between their thighs or in some kind of cowardly posture. People respect people that take up space, now I don’t mean sprawl out or slouch like someone that fell asleep on a roller coaster, but it’s a way you sit that shows you’re a man to be reckoned with.
Possession of power is as much physical as it is mental. You don’t sit like a mere man, you sit like you own the fucking place!
9. KEEP YOUR PROMISES
“He’s a man of his words”
Sounds familiar? When you say you’ll do something, make sure you do it. Nothing makes a man more respectable than keeping his words. If you didn’t make the promise from a place of a people-pleaser to start with, then it should be something you can do. If you’ve also learned how to say NO and talk less, hardly will you make promises you can’t keep.
10. STAND UP FOR OTHERS
This is why we admire and love heroes. One of the intrinsic characteristics of the masculine soul is the ability to protect and stand up for equity and justice. Remember the ENDSARS movement in Nigeria in 2020? Many of the ladies and guys that were very vocal during the campaign were verified on Twitter and other social media afterward.
They stood up for justice with courage with the impending and apparent danger and they were loved and respected for it. Yours doesn’t have to be on a national scale if you’re not up for it, but you can still exert your influence in your locality or community. This is one of the fastest ways to quickly be respected and rise to the tops of the ranks when done right. Remember that your life is too small to be the sole purpose of your life. Live beyond yourself boss.
THE LAST RESPECT
When a great person comes to the end of their sojourn on earth, you hear people say they want to go pay them their last respect. This isn’t something people say regarding just anybody when they die, it’s reserved for people that have lived a respectable life while they were here. This implies that even in death, people still show respect and reverence.
If you’re a man that wants to make his impact felt in this world, you can’t do that without doing stuff that will make people respect and listen to you when you try to exert your influence. People can’t love who they don’t respect, as respect and admiration are what you earn first before love and trust. In all your earnings, earn respect and every other thing follows from there.
command respect and stay manly.
also check out: https://menstyleplug.com/how-to-unlock-the-power-of-attraction/
Olowe Segun
Amire Steve
Tolulope
