This post was inspired by the story of a lady (Iniubong Umoren) who was brutally raped, murdered, and buried in a shallow grave by her assailant in Uyo Akwa Ibom State, Nigeria when she reportedly went for a supposed job interview and she met her end as a result. My condolences to her family and loved ones if they ever come across this article.
The whole event got me thinking, what could she have done differently? Was it bad to have gone for the interview? Many could have, would have, and should have, but that’s late now for Ini, but isn’t for you reading this as this could happen to anybody, but you greatly reduce the chances of it happening to you or your loved ones if only you take precaution and some of the tips addressed in this article seriously.
THE NATURE OF EVIL
- Evil has no gender- it can come from a male or female or done to the same.
- Evil has no age- the young and old can bring it upon you.
- Evil has no location- it can happen in your home, in your car or bus, or other highly secured locations. It can happen in Nigeria as well as in America.
- Evil is timeless- it has been happening before now and it will continue to happen. Plus, it can happen at any time of the day (not time-bound or time-sensitive).
- Evil has no feelings- when it visits, it doesn’t care how you feel or what it will do to your family and loved ones.
- Evil is the balance of the scale for good- we can’t have good if there is no evil.
THE OODA CYCLE
OODA is an acronym for; Observation → Orientation → Decision → Action
To prevent a crime before it happens is always the best option, but sometimes, even with all your precaution, these things can still happen but what makes the difference between you and an average Joe is your PREPARATION. Let’s quickly run through the OODA cycle.
OBSERVATION
Situational awareness is the ability of an individual to observe his environment and people and make a detailed assessment of them. In simple terms, it’s being mindful and knowing what is going on around you. You’ve seen movies like the James Bond 007 series where he enters a place and does a quick scan of what’s going on and who are the people in the gathering.
This skill, however, is not just for secret service agents, but for everyone that cares for the safety of themselves and their loved ones. Situational awareness is the art of training your 5 senses to take in your immediate environment and scan for potential threats or imminent danger. In many cases, the difference between life and death is usually within minutes, and being aware of a threat even seconds before anyone else could be what will save you and your loved ones.
Take for instance you enter a bar or restaurant, you study the mood of the place (which is usually, bustling and loud most times), and you get there it’s all quiet and people are just seated in a too quiet demeanour… that’s a red flag (probably there’s a robbery going on or a hostage situation).
When you get into a place, the first thing you check is the mood, the possible logical escape routes, the groups of people in the area, and your sitting position. You want to sit in a place that gives you a visual advantage to see the entrance and other people or points of interest. Backing the entrance of a bar is a terrible sitting position.
When it comes to observing people, someone unusually relaxed in a concert for instance and not doing what most of the crowd is doing is a person of interest to you and be wary around them. Of course, it’s possible they’re just tired, but there are behavioural cues they’ll give off that will make you know they’re up to something.
The mood of a bus, train, or café is usually the relaxed type with most people pressing their phones, reading a book, or just looking out the window, everyone minding their business. Before you board a bus, always do a quick scan of other passengers, how many males to female ratio, what is their sitting arrangement, and are they conversing?
Many people that have been victims of ‘one chance’ or 419 in public transport, always report after the ordeal that someone started a conversation and some others joined in and found a way to tag them in the conversation, and boom, they enter the hook.
The whole point of observing, putting your nose to the ground, and ears to the wall, is to get out of a potentially dangerous situation and not find out whether it’s for real or not. You usually don’t want to find out. Just get yourself out of there when you get the cues. This doesn’t mean you should be paranoid and be looking frantically at everything or everyone, you just maintain a ‘relaxed-alert’ countenance and get the information you need to deduce from your observation.
One little game you can play in your mind to improve your awareness is when you enter anywhere, say a bank, a shop, café, bus, etc., is to do a quick mental assessment of everybody working there or customers around…what are they wearing? How many males and females? who’s sitting next to you? how many staff and how many customers are on there? How many exits are there? trust me you’ll see things in a new perspective and realize that you’re now seeing not just looking. Oh, let me also mention that this exercise also improves your memorization abilities too.
ORIENTATION
There are cases where you already find yourself in a place or with a person and you can’t easily remove yourself like that or it’s just too late. This is where orientation about the situation kicks in. What do you do when you enter a hostile environment or a previously calm person or environment suddenly became hostile?
There are 3 realistic options; run, hide or fight. Orientation is basically advanced observation, assessing the situation, and knowing which option to go with. The best option of course is to run, even if you’re a trained fighter, you don’t want things to escalate, especially if you’re with your family, plus the assailant could be armed with a sophisticated weapon.
So in this case, you’re looking out for logical escape routes, considering the place and your body type. I said ‘logical’ because if you’re fat and chunky, flying over a fence or going through a narrow exit may not be an option for you, you either get caught in the process or injure yourself. If you have done your observation well, you would’ve figured this out if any exists.
At this point, you’re scanning for what can be improvised as a weapon if it comes to that, your assailants’ weapon, strength, and his/her weakness. In these times, carrying a weapon or something that can be improvised as a weapon is not a bad idea. In fact, I think every lady should have pepper spray in their bags for obvious reasons and guys carry a foldable multi-purpose jackknife.
Also, learning basic self-defense or actual combat skills is a great idea. Loads of youtube videos and training can help with that, I’ve taken some myself. Learning this gives you the concrete skills to employ and offers you a greater comfort level with violence and confidence in taking action.
DECISION
Research has shown that people usually shut down in a crisis. Fear can make one not take any action at all. To many, the whole situation usually feels like a bad dream that they just can’t wait to wake from, the stress of the event muddles up their thoughts and decision-making.
However, this is the moment of truth, and your chances of escape or survival depend on these few minutes (usually, it happens so fast like in flash). Fighting back should always be the last resort and you should it with extreme aggressiveness and violence because the attacker will bring the same upon you without mercy most times. If at all you’ll go down, don’t go down without a fight. I understand that this kind of violence may not pleasant to contemplate, but remember this is no time for civility and victory will go to the swift and relentless.
In the orientation phase, you’ve figured out what is within your arms reach that can be improvised as a weapon, even a pencil in the right hand can be a lethal weapon. Brings to mind the movie John Wick where it was said of the man that he once killed 3 men with a pencil…that’s a movie though, but you get my point right? Go for body parts like the eyes, throat, head, and groin, and deliver your blow with maximum impact until the attacker is disarmed.
The good thing about attacking the assailant is, the average attacker never believes anybody will fight back because they’re the boss in that situation and nobody challenges the boss. The element of surprise from a victim will certainly shake them up and done right you’re more likely to win than lose.
ACTION
Don’t hesitate. It’s better you don’t make a move at all than hesitate, hesitation fuels doubt and a doubting mind is already a failed mind. This is what it all comes down to, action. If your option is running, get to it, if it’s hiding, choose the perfect spot and do that and if it’s fighting, choose your weapon, wait for the right moment, and attack. Never let fear incapacitate you to inaction. You would be saving yourself and others that don’t know some of these things by taking action.
Be creative, be patient, your attacker can’t be on full guard the whole time, he or she will perhaps have blind spots or moments they lose guard, that’s your window of opportunity, take it or you may not get another. I’m not saying this is an easy thing to do, it sounds like something out of a movie, but if you have people that look up to you, things you hold dearly here on earth, a life you’re yet to experience and enjoy, then you’ll fight.
“The street is military, you gotta be a soldier”
Tupac
WHAT TO DO IF YOU’RE A VICTIM OF VIOLENCE AND ABUSE
Some people go through violent ordeal like rape, kidnapping, domestic violence, mugging, etc., they survive but they never remain the same. The whole event fucks them up psychologically and it’s a real issue, some bottle it up for years and never get to share it with anyone and get anxiety attacks over little things. I know of a lady that still has PTSD because she was mugged at gunpoint in her car several years ago.
Whatever emotional scar or trauma the event leaves you with, you’ll have to address it and heal from it. I can relate with how you could’ve been treated, the humiliation and violation of your person. Terrorists and abusers revel in the fact that they continue to live in your head long after they terrorized you. you have to decide not to give them that opportunity.
Talk to someone, a counselor, a cleric, a therapist if you have to, someone to hold your hand as you walk out of the ashes of your abuse. You can say “I’ll be fine” but you’ll be surprised it may still find a way to creep into your daily activities, your relationships, your trust factor, hell, it might even change your entire personality.
I intentionally added this section because I know there are many survivors of abuse in different forms and it’s a lot to live with way after the event. The upside for you if this is you is that no matter how bad the ordeal was, you survived it and as the saying goes “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”.
PREPARE, PRACTICE, TRAIN
If you don’t take anything out of this post, take those 3 words. Nobody wakes up in the morning and say, “it’s the day is evil”. No warning, no sign, it just starts like every other day. Sometimes, you’re just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but you may get a chance to act and only get seconds to figure out what to do.
If you wait till that moment before you think of what to do, it might just be too late. Don’t be the ‘if it happens’ guy, rather be the ‘when it happens’ guy.
Stay jiggy, watch your back, get your nose out of your phone, be alert. Prepare, Practice Plan.
Oops I forgot, stay manly, lol.
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. Don’t keep it to yourself, hit the share button, you could just be saving a life. Please do well to drop a comment or add other ideas I could have missed.
Olowe Segun
Amire Steve
Tolulope
