Sequel to my post on how to work from home, maintain your drive and remain stylish, we’re indeed in unconventional times and our approach to life too, definitely has to be unconventional so as to make the best of the fast-changing world. Business, education, sports, family life, politics, etc and even romantic relationships now require new creative ideas and innovation in how we approach them.
Apparently, you can’t go seeing a concert, movie, karaoke, or eat your favourite meal at your favourite restaurant while you both chat over a bottle of wine at this time. So should romance and dating be suspended?… your guess is as good as mine, NO. With little creativity and some effort, you can both experience a world of fun, adventure, laughter, and pleasure together. Besides, distance is not what makes relationships deteriorate; complacency and lack of communication play more of a role in that than mileage.
Yes, I understand it sounds a little crazy, unconventional and you can throw in silly (for the stiff guys, lol) and complicated, non-verbal body languages and nuances will be missing, but I guess that’s the whole point of it. Even if she’s within your reach, eating out and other conventional date ideas get old anyways. So, this is worth giving a try to spice things up. Just like me, you might end up really enjoying it more than you expected.
3 ADVANTAGES OF A VIRTUAL DATE
Your Wallet Will Thank You: Dates cost money…especially in Nigeria where, as the guy, you’re naturally expected to solely foot the bills. The logistics involved, traffic, and in some cases, you still drop thanks for coming money (will not explain if you don’t understand, lol). With the soaring unemployment rate all over the world, virtual dates help you save your dwindling resources and you spend just a token or nothing at all. Just a good internet connection and a laptop or mobile device.
You connect better: Stripped of the ambiance of a restaurant or other side distractions, the quality of the conversation on a date comes into focus. This helps you to sharpen your conversation skills and help you quickly detect the quality of the lady you’re on a date with (for first-time dates). Trust me, there’s more talking on video chat than there would be in a loud bar. Also, sex is (probably) off the table, so you know you’re after the substance of the conversation, which helps you to open up your creative pathways as well.
Reduces approach anxiety and confrontation fright: Some guys loose their lines or composure especially when meeting a lady for the first time. I’ve had friends that got completely dumb or tongue-tied in such circumstances and I know some guys go through the same. With a virtual date, you have home advantage so to speak, you control the frame of the date from the comfort of your home and you’ll probably see her in her basic state too without the makeup and all that. So, expressing yourself shouldn’t be too hard.
STEPS TO SETTING UP AN EXCITING VIRTUAL DATE
Bro, remember you control the frame. You lead, she follows. Therefore, the initiative to pull this off properly lies with you. Essentially, it’s about effort and a determination to have a robust romantic life with your partner from afar. It’s invention over tradition, function over form and rebellion over conformity. So, take the wheel and don’t forget to enjoy the ride while you’re at it. Here are steps to follow to have an amazing digital date night.
ASK HER OUT
Whatever stage or level (met online or already a spouse) the relationship is, asking her out the traditional way is a winner. Ladies like the idea of being officially asked out. In this case, you just don’t say it just like that.
You want to whet her appetite a little and increase her excitement about your mission. The trick is to plan ahead and let her in on the plan gradually.
You can go… “let’s do something unusual“, of course, she’d ask what?, but don’t tell just yet. Just say you have something in mind and you’ll communicate it with her soon. That way, you’ve sown the seed and I’m sure she’ll look forward to it.
Then, when you’re ready, via a text you can go… dinner date – (set the date), location -our homes, time – (set the time), dress code – (set whatever u like), menu – (make it the favorite food of both of you), drinks – (state it). Then you later call her and give her the details of your plans.
Do this right and I’m sure you’ll get a YES.
Note: this is precedent on the fact that you already have some level of rapport with the lady. It’s just physical limitations that can’t let you be together.
IT’S A DATE
So, she said yes, let’s give it a shot. You’ve selected the best internet provider in your area and the preferred video call platform you want to use ( quite a number of them, just choose the one that gives the best footage and communicate it to her as well. In fact, you can test run it before the actual day).
You know what your body, mind, and surroundings typically are like on a first date, so make things as similar to regular dates as possible by setting the scene in your own home. Soft romantic music, nice lighting, good clothing.
Which brings me to my point on grooming. Make sure you groom your hair and beard because your face is majorly what will show most of the date, except you want to give her a tour around your place, and wear something decent, not just a t-shirt.
As regarding food, drinks and other consumables, it’s better if you both cook the same (previously discussed) meal in your homes. In fact, that can make for a good talking point prior to the date and you can banter whose food will look and taste better on the day.
This makes it more memorable as shared experiences make people closer. However, if you can’t cook, you can order and have her favorite food delivered to her and yourself as well. Just make sure it arrives before the slated time.
Same applies to drinks and the rest, or better still, she gets in her location and you get in yours.
MAKE IT INTERESTING
Most of the time ladies rely on us to lead conversations and be funny. In fact, you win better with ladies when you’re witty and funny.
Note, this is not a date you want to have personal and deep conversations, save that for when you see her physically. It’s for fun and entertainment. We will have to do an entire post on how to make a date interesting and what to talk about as that is beyond the scope of this article.
Essentially, Just be a natural, no pretence…and get your talking points right. Done well, a talking point or 2 can get you all through the entire date. You can even play a game together online.
Which brings me to my next point…
MOVIE DATE NIGHT
You can still simulate your Netflix and chill experience from afar. Movies are a fun connection tool for couples, as it takes both of you out of your physical location (mentally of course) to places you can only imagine, which create talking points and helps you escape imaginatively to places, stories, cultures etc, giving you a feeling of togetherness.
Exploiting technology to have a semblance of a movie date is also a great way to fan your romantic flame from a distance. Just as with the dinner date discussed earlier, invite her to a movie date.
Let her pick the movie choice and you watch simultaneously. Chat or call yourselves while the movie is on and have conversations ABOUT THE MOVIE. You can download Netflix party, a chrome extension that allows two parties to synchronize their Netflix accounts to watch something simultaneously. Netflix party allows you both to live chat on screen and share reactions as you watch.
TAKE IT OUTSIDE
Go watch the sky together. I’ve tried this one too and it works.
If you’re in the same time zone, say the same country but different states, on a day there’s a full moon or if the stars decide to come out to play.
You can call her to come view it with you. You can have conversation points around it and leverage nature too.
Delivery of whichever of these you choose to do is what matters. It has the same effect on the brain, whether you do it together physically or apart. Memories will be made and bonds will be forged.
Don’t be surprised the distance might make you even closer. That sense of mystery and distance can help build desire and excitement for a partner.
As long as you’re both committed to being a team and open to exploring, there are so many ways to connect, keep it fun, and strengthen the relationship.
FINISH YOUR VIRTUAL DATE STRONG
Like any good date, your aim is to leave her feeling like she can’t wait to see you (again) and you feeling like she did the same.
Know when to call it a night, keep it within an hour, thank her for coming to the date and tell her how much fun you had, ask for her honest feedback about the date too.
Remember, your being apart is a temporary situation that will be resolved eventually. Finally, plan towards the soonest time you both can see, because in all honesty nothing beats the physical touch, and hope deferred makes the heart weary.
Olowe Segun
Amire Steve
Tolulope
