A few decisions can irreversibly change the course of your life; getting married or choosing a wife is one of them. No decision will impact every aspect of your life more than the one you make in determining who you want to spend the rest of your life with and be the mother of your children. It has a direct impact on your finances, your strength, your time, your mental health, to mention a few.
You will be told women make life better and easier by supporting you. In fact, in Africa, we even believe there’s a special kind of luck that comes with getting married (that’s a gist for another day). The thing is women will reduce your efficiency with their demands, mind games, and erratic emotions. The time and energy that will otherwise go into more productive things get spent on managing your woman. If you’re a man that has already reached a higher stage of maturity and development, this is a cost you can bear. If you haven’t, not only will you let her down and damage her with ineffective leadership, but she too will hold you back from growing.
In affairs of women, you’re not looking to profit, it is impossible to do so. By merit of their greater need, they impose more, and in doing so, take more. Their value lies in the comfort they bring and the children they can bear. Beyond this, they have nothing for you. This is a very cold and harsh truth and society is in denial about it, but if you take time to think about it, you’ll get my point. Can you afford this?
Chill, this post is not anti-women or anti-marriage, I’m only trying to open your eyes to some of the things you’re signing up for if you decide to make this delicate decision of getting married. It’s no longer news the elevated divorce rate over the years (my phone battery lasts longer than some marriages these days, lol). In 2021, if you get married you’re a coin toss away from catastrophe, especially in advanced countries where the marriage contract is extremely unfair and rife with opportunities for abuse, with men being on the receiving end losing half their belongings, and in some cases even restricted from seeing their kids. Fuck!
Watch this 60 seconds video;
When you buy a house when you invest in a venture, etc, you get a bunch of documents explaining to you the terms and conditions of your purchase and all that, but none of those comes with getting married (even with a prenup, the game is still rigged against you), yet marriage is the most significant legal decision other than dying a man will ever make. Hence, the reason for this post.Dating is one thing, marriage is another, that she’s a good girlfriend doesn’t necessarily mean she will make a good wife…its a different ball game entirely and the requirements are different (explains why a man can date a lady for years and end up marrying someone else).
However, marriage is awesome but you don’t have to be in a rush to get there. Making the right decision is the most important part of the puzzle. There is no surefire way to guarantee the woman you will marry will be a good wife, but there are certain metrics to screen for that shifts the odds in your favour.
This is a sequel to the post She’s Not Right For You If you notice these 15 red flags | Men Style Plug lets go…
BODY/PARTNER COUNT
This has nothing to do with the state of the vagina, in terms of mileage, whether it is loose or tight (there are vagina tighteners and sweeteners ladies use now), rather it has to do with her ability to pair bond. As a woman accrues additional partners, her ability to pair bond diminishes.
The more men she has been with before you, the less prone she will be to becoming emotionally attached to you. Women do not improve with use, they deteriorate, this is why traditionally women were married off as virgins because women are fragile and as they accumulate experience, they accumulate trauma that ruins them for romance.
You can know her body count by prodding her indirectly, the default number most ladies will tell you is 2 or 3, but don’t take her word for it, you’ll get close to the actual number if you dig deeper. There’s no specified number that it should be, but know that the higher the number, the redder the flag.
MALE RELATIVE / FATHER FIGURE PRESENCE
This indirectly correlates with partner count. One of the questions I ask a lady I’m considering for a serious relationship is usually “what’s your relationship with your dad?” This is important because a woman raised in the presence of a strong masculine figure is likely to have a lower body count as the man protects and provides for her which she will otherwise seek from a boyfriend. Another reason is that men are known to in-still discipline in children, a woman that grew up without anybody there to discipline or call her to order will likely be spoiled and will not be fit as a wife material.
Lastly, it will reflect in her relationship with you, such a woman will most likely not need you or be willing to follow your lead because she has always fended for herself all along, and how do you build something really solid like your future around a woman that doesn’t need you? She can up and leave at any time!
INTELLIGENCE
Marrying a high IQ woman maximizes the possibility of your children getting good genetics for them to succeed in life as IQ is one of the best predictors of success. Also, you wouldn’t have to spoon feed or baby sit her on everything. You can rub minds with her and she’ll be able to give you insights on how to solve problems.
Lastly, a high IQ woman will most likely be witty and fun to be with as well as enjoy things like football, video games or other fun things men do.
EMOTIONAL MATURITY
Is she overly dramatic? Does she constantly test your patience? Is she capable of postponing a complaint if she knows you’ve had a rough day? Does she wear her emotions on her sleeves (cries often or easily get depressed)? Does she flip out uncontrollably if things don’t go her way or get what she wants?
Yea you guessed right, i won’t even recommend you date such not to talk of marriage. I’m sure you know why.
SUPPORTIVENESS
Men are creators, innovators, builders, defenders, providers,…the list goes on. The last thing you want is a woman who isn’t on your team, or your biggest cheer leader. Does she follow up when you tell her your plans?
If you remove the sex what exactly will you say she’s bringing to the table as a support to you. If you can’t point to anything in particular, she’s liability and an extra luggage for your life journey. Avoid.
AGE
When it comes to age, marry down not up...e get why
- Experience: Whether you like it or not a woman older than you will most likely be more experienced than you because women mature mentally faster than men. Most ladies even despise the thought of dating a younger man and trust me if she decides to date you, you’re likely her convenient option or last resort.
- Dominance: If you’re behind in experience, you’ll likely lack dominance (not domineering, there’s a difference). Especially if she’s well positioned in life, earns good income and all. Ordinarily, there’s no problem with this if you’re at the same or higher level than her. But a well established life comes with age and hard work which you’ll likely be behind.
- Biological Clock: as much as we try to say age is just a number, it isn’t just a number in this regard. At an advanced age, a woman’s body cannot handle pregnancy well, which eventually becomes a problem for her and by association you.
Also, women age like milk while men age like wine, this implies that as you the man get older and your handsomeness blossoms, your wife’s ageing still gets to compliment yours rather than look older than you.
BEAUTY
I intentionally made this the last point because beauty is most likely what will attract you to her in the first place, but by now you should know marriage goes deeper than beauty. However, my point here is does she dress to impress you? Does she watch her weight to stay in shape and look beautiful for you?
Women by nature don’t like stress and usually relax after they get what they want (marriage in this case). You’ll know if a woman will continue to maintain her beauty after marriage or child birth by the quality of her lifestyle before marriage and such a woman is worth her weight in gold.
LET’S TIE THE KNOT
I said earlier that this post is not anti-marriage or anti-women. The intention is to open the eyes of men (that don’t know yet) to the pitfalls of getting married if they choose wrong. However, I feel men should get married though, if they are lucky enough to find a good woman. Nothing drives you to strive and achieve more as a man than the thought of having a wife and kids that look up to you. Also, at some point in life when you’re old and grey, and lost your strength and vigour, I believe the presence of a good woman and the comfort she brings can elongate your life.
I wish you the best bro, stay manly, if you wish to get married.
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it, would love to hear your thoughts on this topic and please be kind enough to hit the share button so others can enjoy it too. Thanks
Olowe Segun
Amire Steve
Tolulope
